UNLEASHED Vol. 2 – Praying for Your Wife

 

Summary
  1. Praying for your wife.  Disclaimer!!!  Remember, this can also be applied, to some degree or another, to godly women in your life if you are single.

  2. Prayer is huge in connecting your heart to Jesus!

  3. Identify where you are at in your regular daily prayer life.  Here’s a list I’ve put together, it’s not definitive, just what I’ve gone though.  Identify where your wife is too.

    1. No prayer life at all

    2. praying very little and infrequently, probably never out loud

    3. pray silently to God in your head sometimes about random things, usually wants

    4. pray silently or out loud to God for specific needs and wants

    5. pray out loud or silently at meal times

    6. pray out loud with your children as a group at bedtime

    7. pray out loud with each of your children individually at bedtime

    8. pray silently for your wife specifically

    9. pray out loud for your wife each morning

    10. pray out loud with your wife each night

    11. continuous pray with God all day, a running conversation about all of life

  4. No matter where you are on the list, PRAYER MATTERS!!!  Challenging yourself to deepen your prayer life.

  5. Prayer effects all three “links of strength and support”

    1. GOD – Ephesians 6:18 talks about bringing all types of prayers and requests to God!  In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 we are challenged to pray continually and give thanks to God!!!

    2. Brothers – James 5:16 talks about the importance of praying for each other.  2 Thessalonians 1:3 says we are called to pray, being thankful for one another and thankful to God for each other.

    3. Wife – I go back to the important statement in Ephesians 6:18b “be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

      1. Identify where you are at and where your wife is at with prayer.

      2. If you’re not praying for/with you wife yet, start small.  Don’t scare her off by going overboard.  Take your time.  Start by praying for her in your silent prayer, hopefully daily.  Pray for protection over her.  Pray for her heart to stay close to Jesus and find her significance in Him.  Pray for her to ignore lies from the enemy.

      3. Have conversations about it with her.  Start to let her know what you’re doing.

      4. Eventually talk with her about praying out loud together.  This can be weird at first!!!  It can be uncomfortable, don’t give up!  It gets easier and more natural with time.

      5. Don’t quit when/if it gets hard or seems weird, that’s exactly what the enemy wants you to do.  Persevere and battle for your wife!

      6. If you already pray for/with you wife, don’t let it become boring and mundane!

      7. So, why pray for/with you wife?  God says once we are married we are two who have now become one.  Praying for your wife with your wife helps bring you together and build that “oneness” that God designed you to experience.  Your wife will feel loved, protected, and valued by you!  Who doesn’t want that in their marriage?

      8. I’ve gone through the whole spectrum from no prayer with my wife to daily prayer out loud.  It’s a process, it takes time, but it’s worth it, you won’t regret trying!!!

      9. Be tender with her, don’t bulldoze your agenda.  Meet her where she’s at and work with her!  Allow it to help you both grow closer together and closer to Jesus!

         

Extended Version

  1. Disclaimer!!!  Remember, this can also be applied, to some degree or another, to godly women in your life if you are single.  You can also be praying for women who might be in your future.

  2. Prayer, a HUGE part of our walk with Jesus!  There are lots of different types of prayer, but for now let’s focus in on regular prayer in your life.  Connecting your heart to Jesus.

  3. It’s important to identify where you might be on the spectrum of typical daily type prayer.  This is not a definitive list, just a process I’ve gone through.  You may find you can add/subtract some categories or move a few up or down on the list based on your experiences and/or your life situation at this time (kids/no kids, wife/no wife).  It’s also important to get a feel for where your wife might be on this list, you don’t want to scare her off by jumping too far ahead on the list, instead, bring her along with you as you grow.

    1. No prayer life at all

    2. praying very little and infrequently, probably never out loud

    3. pray silently to God in your head sometimes about random things, usually wants

    4. pray silently or out loud to God for specific needs and wants

    5. pray out loud or silently at meal times

    6. pray out loud with your children as a group at bedtime

    7. pray out loud with each of your children individually at bedtime

    8. pray silently for your wife specifically

    9. pray out loud for your wife each morning

    10. pray out loud with your wife each night

    11. continuous pray with God all day, a running conversation about all of life

  4. No matter where you fit on the list, prayer matters!  If you pray a lot, then you know the power there, if not, I would encourage you to start tapping into this amazing resource.

  5. Prayer effects all three “links of strength and support”

    1. GOD – Ephesians 6:18 talks about bringing all types of prayers and requests to God!  And to pray for each other!  In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 we are challenged to pray continually and give thanks to God!!!

    2. Brothers – James 5:16 talks about being known, sharing, and praying for each other.  2 Thessalonians 1:3 says we are called to pray, being thankful for one another and being thankful to God for each other.

    3. Wife – I go back to the important statement in Ephesians 6:18b “be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

      1. Once you have identified where you fit on the daily prayer spectrum, you now have an idea of what you can work towards or continue to maintain.

      2. If you don’t specifically pray for your wife.  Start small, you don’t need to be like John Rambo and dive into the room, guns blazing, to get this going (although, if you’re excited to start, that’s awesome!).  Start by praying for her in your silent prayer, hopefully daily.  Pray for protection over her.  Pray for her heart to stay close to Jesus and find her significance in Him.  Pray for her to ignore lies from the enemy.  Over time, talk to her about it, let her know you are praying for her (especially if she is behind or at the same level of prayer as you).

      3. After a while of praying for her silently (this could be as long as it takes for you), ask her if you can pray for her out loud.  This can be very scary and intimidating for you (and her too) at first.  Pray out loud to Jesus first, ask for strength and clarity, confidence and calm.  Remember, starting out, praying out loud for her does not need to be a huge twenty minute prayer.  By now, you have probably had a lot of practice praying for her in your head, start with praying how you usually have been, only now out loud.

      4. Don’t stop trying, even if at first it feels weird or doesn’t seem to be going well.  It takes time to find your voice and get past the “nervousness.”  Through time, you’ll both find you look forward to it and you will miss it if it does not happen.  Make it a daily thing, you won’t regret it!

      5. If you already pray with/for your wife KEEP IT UP!  Don’t allow it to become another mundane “thing” you do.  Don’t be ok with skipping a night here or there, or a week here or there.  Keep the passion, keep the motivation, and remember you are battling for you WIFE!

      6. So, why pray for/with you wife?  God says once we are married we are two who have now become one.  Praying for your wife with your wife helps bring you together and build that “oneness” that God designed you to experience.  Your wife will feel loved, protected, and valued by you!  Who doesn’t want that in their marriage?  It gives you a chance to share things on your heart that you may not always just talk about in regular conversation.  It’s a great way for you to share your heart with God and with her! 

      7. I know the power of praying for/with your wife first hand!  When Rachel and I were first married, I prayed fairly often silently to myself and sometimes at meals, so I was up around c,d, or e.  Over time outside influences helped me realize where I could grow in this area of prayer (classes are church, sermons, small group, books I was reading).  Praying silently was pretty comfortable for me, so moving to h wasn’t too far out of my comfort zone.  It started to help me feel closer to her, more reliant on God, and helped me get a bit more in tune with her needs.  My servant leadership began to grow as I thought about Rachel and God more often throughout the day.  Then, about five or six years ago, I took the big leap of faith and let her know I had been praying for her silently and wanted to start praying for her out loud.  We had been challenged by our small group leaders to move in this direction and I was scared, really scared, but willing.  At first, it seemed weird for sure!  I was nervous about every word choice and how I “sounded.”  But even in my fumbling, God blessed it.  I noticed her response, and it was positive!  It helped/helps us feel closer and more connected to each other and to God.  There are often times I can better express myself in prayer than in a regular discussion.  She can hear me battle for her heart, my heart, and the heart of our family.  She can hear me pray and know exactly where I am at emotionally and spiritually.  Praying with my wife Rachel is such a privilege and honor.  It allows me to lead, build my marriage, and stay close to God! 

      8. So, I pray that you will take this to heart and check where you are at.  Be tender with your wife.  You know her best, be gentle, especially if you are trying to bring her along, make sure you don’t scare her off, but don’t give up either, she wants to be led by you!  On the other hand, if your wife is further ahead, don’t let that intimidate you, imagine the joy you will bring to her heart when you show her how you are growing and fighting for her!!!

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